Monthly Archives: June 2012

Again…

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So I never did post what happened with my step-daughters…

I ended up sending them a box of clothes. I’m just not comfortable sending cash! Hope they were happy. Sarie did call and say thank you, so that’s something.

I wish I could talk to them and see how their feeling. I miss them terribly. I know it’s ridiculous, but I dream about them quite often. I think about them multiple times daily. I guess maybe I just feel connected to them because of their age and life experiences. Maybe it’s something I’ve totally made up in my head, and really, they don’t care to have a relationship with us/me at all. But i do feel connected. I was a teen girl not all that long ago. I remember the feelings and hurts and confusion.

We wrote letters, but as far as i know, they haven’t gotten them yet. Here’s mine ::

Hello and Good Day to two of the most gorgeous, smart and spunky girls I know!

I hope this note finds you doing well. Today is the last day of school, so ‘m sure that’s the case! Hehe. I hope you have a ton of awesome plans for this summer – I know you’re visiting Kentucky at least once, and there will be tons of swimming when you’re home ‘m sure, and Busch Gardens since you have the passes! Anything else grand in the works? I do hope we get to see you at least once! I loved Florida – the beaches and the sun and, of course, all the photo ops! Maybe we can make a plan. We also plan on going to New York City for two or three days to check out the sites and we’d like to go camping around Corbin, Kentucky because there’s supposed to be a really cool waterfall with a moonbow (a rainbow caused by the moon) – it’s the only place in the US with one!

I talked to you mom over the weekend and she asked me why your father doesn’t call anymore. I wanted to clarify my answer and address this with you two as well, because sometimes my words get jumbled on the phone. Your father loves you to pieces. He really does. I understand you may not feel it, or you may be confused by it. He’s been pretty distant from you recently, and of course, left without saying goodbye. There was no excuse for that, but I did want to tell you how he explained it to me. He said he was hurt, and a little confused, by the way y’all interacted. He didn’t know what to say or do, and you didn’t reach out, either. What happened in November was a hurtful situation. It’s left him in a hard position (and me, too, obviously, but ‘m a little more willing to try to put it into words, i think)…in November, he was accused of being a stalker, and it’s still listed on your facebook profile, as ‘m sure you know. Your mom said it was because he moved too fast, because we scared y’all with thinking you’d be “shipped up here for the summer” or something of the like. I understand this – you barely knew him and didn’t know the rest of us. So now, he’s moving too slow. He doesn’t want you to think he’s a stalker. He doesn’t want you to think that he’s trying to force his way into your lives. He doesn’t even really know if you want him in your lives. It’s a hard balance to find.

I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but I believe you are capable and understanding. Please, please, please, be patient with him. He’s trying. And please, be patient with me, too, as I try to figure out my place (if there is any) in your lives. We truly love you more than you’ll ever know. I’ve included a letter your father wrote to you back in 2003 and a poem he wrote to you in the early 2000’s. He has and always will think of you and love you. These tokens may not be a lot of comfort, but I hope you see his true feelings in them.

I so so so look forward to seeing and hugging you again soon, you adorable miracle babies, you.

With love and laughs, your step-mommy Lauren

 

Hope they get it one day….

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Excitedly expecting

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Oh me oh my…we found out that we are once again pregnant! That makes for six babies all together! We have two boys, a baby girl and my gorgeous twin stepdaughters. One more boy and we’ll be the Brady bunch – one more girl and we have pairs, with two of each in our household. That makes for four spring babies and two winter…and four s’s and two j’s 🙂 i can’t wait!

Dreaming…

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I dreamt about them last night. It was kinda weird/funny.

We were grocery shopping in FL – Jason, the fam and I, the girls, Shannon, her family and her boyfriend. Shannon took her fam out to the van and Jason went out to Richard’s truck (he had driven it to FL) and I was there checking out with the kids and the girls. WHen I wasn’t looking, I lost the girls. I was freaking out, so I ran and left the kids at the van with Shannon staring at me in the passenger seat. I went back in and found them next to the yogurt. Sarie made them put down their yogurt, but when we were walking back out, Sarina grabbed a tub of vanilla icing and tried to walk out with it. Mike (shannon’s bf) walked in and said “lost the girls, huh?” and I was like “oh no, i knew where they were, just had to come back and get them…slight hiccup” and he said “that’s what happened last time, too”. then we walked out to the van but it was full of the other kids. so i was like “so shannon, do you want me to drive the girls in the truck?” and she said “yeah, you’ll all fit” but the girls didnt really wanna go. they just kinda stared at me. i put my hand out to Sarina..

 

and then I woke up. I miss them! I love them. I hope they’re doing alright. And I hope we get to see them this summer. ❤